Do you speak English?

When you first arrive in the UK, you soon realise that even though you all speak English, you don’t speak the same English! Don’t tell a British person you like their ‘pants’ – it means underwear in the UK! I was asked how I knew what pants they had on?! All very confusing. British people also don’t understand South African English – saying ‘robot’ (traffic light) conjures up images of robotic creatures walking around.

Here’s a selective list of words that the English know and love, but which might prove eye-opening to those who don't speak the Queen's English.

absobloodylutely
Absolutely

alright!
Hello. A greeting. No answer is expected to what is inherently a question.
Also pronounced ‘awlright’.

argy-bargy
Arguing, as in “them two was having a right argy-bargy”.

bloke
A Man

box
Television, as in “Let’s see what’s on the box tonight.”

chap
A man. Usually associated with the speech of the upper classes, as in "I say old
chap, fancy joining us for a gin and tonic?"

cheap-as-chips
Extremely cheap

chew the fat
To chat

chippy
A chip shop. Except it’s usually a fish ‘n chip shop where you can also get pies &
battered sausages.

cream crackered
Tired out, exhausted. Rhyming slang for 'knackered'.

deep sea diver
A five pound note. Rhyming slang for ‘fiver’.

deffo
Definitely

geezer
A man - more ‘laddish'

giddy aunt
A mild exclamation of surprise, as in “oh my giddy aunt!”

good egg
A liked and favoured person

good on ya
Well done

governor
One's employer. Often spelt guvner.

grand
£1,000

a ton
£100

greasy spoon
An inexpensive café selling mostly fried things like bacon, sausages and eggs.

half-inch
To steal. Rhyming slang for 'pinch'. As in, “Who’s half-inched my pen?”

hole-in-the-wall
A cash point

innit
Shortened from "isn’t it"

jammy
Fortunate, lucky, as in “That jammy geezer just won a tenner on the fruit machines!”

local
A common term for a pub that is near to where you live, as in 'I'll see you down the local at eight”.

love
A friendly term of address, as in “Can I help you love?”

missus
The wife or girlfriend.

muppet
A foolish or stupid person, as in "Don't be a muppet”

nice one!
A general expression of approval.

numpty
Idiot

pants!
It can be used as an exclamation of frustration or to describe something that is bad or rubbish, as in “did you watch the Arsenal match, wasn't it pants?”

plonker
A stupid person

porkies
Lies. From the rhyming slang ‘pork-pies’.

prat
Idiot

quid
One pound

quids-in
In profit, as in "After the deduction of all my bills I was still quids-in".

skive
To avoid working, as in “the boss caught me skiving!”

shattered
Tired

skint
Without money

taters
Cold (pronounced tay-ters), as in "It's right taters today"

window licker
A name for the sort of nutter who sits next to you on the bus and does something weird.